My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
