we have officially lost it.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
