i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
