I hate all girls vehemently.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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