8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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