i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Randomize
