my mouth tastes like poor choices
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
