Define "chronic" masturbator.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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