Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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