new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize