Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
