I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Randomize