it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
