the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
