Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
