Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
