Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You've changed since you got that strap on
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
