soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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