new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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