so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
