Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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