The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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