Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
