so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
