Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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