You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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