Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
