On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
