there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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