I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
