She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You made out with two different species that night
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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