birth control should be required to get into college
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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