It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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