Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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