My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
