Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize