9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
