she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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