in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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