chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize