All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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