Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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