I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
