i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
