I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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