White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
