I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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