Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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