Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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