yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
