Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
