someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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