you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
