I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
