i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
