...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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