My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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