I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
