Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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