Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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