5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
